Word!

Dear world,

Lightening is what you do to a car to make it go faster. Lightning is that cool electrical shit in the stormy sky.

Aye is an affirmation, like saying yes to someone. It is pronounced the same as eye. Eh? is a question, to someone you didn’t understand, or a sentence ending for Canadians. It is pronounced the same as the name of the first letter of the alphabet.

Here endeth the lesson.

Paper

That simple, one word title is the main reason why Microsoft’s once eponymous application, Word, is, or rather should be, a niche product.

I’m not clear on why there has been a sudden flurry of verbiage on Microsoft’s famous, powerful but bloated application flagship. But a flurry there has been.

Word was designed to produce bundles of paper, something which it is reasonably good for. It is not suitable as a text manipulator (such as a programmer or data analyst might want), nor as an online content generator. And not only is it unsuitable for generating HTML, it is also unsuitable for creating content where HTML should be used!

This last issue is a pet peeve. Word files seem to have attained the status of generic containers. Got some cool photos to email your friends? Stick them in a Word document. Got some jokes to share? Stick them in a Word document. Got some instructions to post online? Stick them in a Word document. Got an online newsletter? Stick them in a Word document. For pity’s sake, why?

There are a few cases where Word continues to make sense. Namely where paper is involved, or one wishes to simulate it. In some professions the formal, structured document still has a place and may even need a handwritten signature. Word is the perfect tool for this.

Most of us, though, should be using content management systems or basic (web) publishing tools because most of us deal with information, not documents. Information has complex structures, relationships and dynamism which Word simply cannot handle.

Put together a set of simple instructions in a Word document and you make a rod for your own back. People will keep their own copies so multiple versions will be extant and you’ll have no way of tracking them. Even if you could, ensuring everyone has and is using the latest version is impossible. Add another, related set of instructions in a new document and you will have a hard time referencing between the two, because linking simply does not work. Add more and the problem gets exponentially worse.

Some have said Word is good for serious tasks like writing a book. Well, maybe a novel, I guess. Anything more complex is better tackled in a dedicated publishing application like Adobe InDesign. And before you think “Microsoft Publisher” (see, Microsoft agree with me) consider that Publisher files are one of the most proprietary formats on the planet and very few people own the software.

I think a great rule of thumb is “if it doesn’t need a signature, don’t use Word.” The world has moved on.

Oh, and if you do decide to use Word, for whatever task, be sure to use it properly. Styles, paragraph spacing, tabs and breaks have been provided for sanity. Discrete fonts, blank lines, spaces, and contiguous Returns are the work of the devil. If you can’t manage to get that right, perhaps you shouldn’t be using Word anyway.

 

Whither podcast?

Goodness. I daren’t look at how long it has been since I released the last podcast. As usual, I’ve either been too tired (mostly) or busy to even put together a playlist.

Work, home renovations, family, a houseguest and more have filled my time.

Will the podcast survive? Probably. But don’t hold your breath for the next episode, I fear.

Training required!

It happened again. It’s not surprising, really. I’ve come to expect it.

Ding dong! “TranzMetro regret to advise that due to an operational incident the Main Trunk is closed.”

I wonder, with my friend, how many people standing on the station actually know the Main Trunk is also known (exclusively, in TranzMetro publications) as the Kapiti line.

I suggest to my friend that we head for platform 9 where buses are (all too often) to be found on such occasions.

Ding dong! “TranzMetro regret to advise that due to an operational incident the Main Trunk has been closed for approximately 30 minutes.”

Oh, I think, not so bad. Only half an hour to wait. Not such a big deal. I’ve endured worse with no information.

Our train, normally a 17:45 service, arrives on platform 5, where we are standing, at about 17:40. We decide to board.

Some time passes.

Ding dong! “The next train to Waikanae will leave at six oh three from platform 8.”

Hmmmm. “Train to Waikanae” is on the Kapiti line, but at this time of day most likely an express. No good for us. We’ll stay where we are.

Ding dong! “The service on platform 5 is not the Porirua service…” Damn! “… it is the five thirty five service to Taita.”

We disembark.

Ding dong! “The service on platform 8 will be stopping all stations to Waikanae.”

Bastards!

We head for platform 8 but eventually realise that ‘standing room only’ is already full!

Ding dong! “There has been a change of platform for the Taita service. It is now on platform 4, not platform 5.”

Idiots!

Ding dong! “The next service to Porirua will be departing from platform 5.”

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

We reboard the same train we started with.

Outrageous? Yes. Typical? Yes. Frequent? Yes.

FML

Think different

Around the time that Steve Jobs died, I became aware of some historic Apple advertising (I’ve only been in the Apple camp around 5 years now) which formed part of their “Think Different” campaign – of which I had heard.

The most compelling version of this particular advertisement was apparently previously unknown to most as it was never aired, but was voiced by Steve Jobs himself.

Since viewing this, I have really taken to heart the message it contains because it’s a reflection of the way I have been thinking in recent years.

It’s not that I believe I’m going to necessarily change the world or advance the human race, but rather that I recognise two key things:

  1. The status quo is never an end game.
  2. An unvoiced idea has no value.

Some will see me as outspoken, full of crazy ideas. That’s okay. That’s who I am. Call me crazy. To me, that’s a compliment.

 

SDP 220 – Remembering

Audio

Another four playlisted tracks for you with a more up-tempo (and indeed, up-volume) vibe. Including two dance (dance?), yes dance tracks. Plus a special track remembering an event etched into the minds of New Zealanders.

SDP 219 – Laid back

Audio

Four, no wait, five “laid back” tracks for your listening pleasure. Well, I think of them as laid back. Ain’t no arena rock here, for sure. And yes, two podcasts inside 2 weeks, it looks like I’m back in the swing of things again!

Uncommonly courteous

 I was taught the phrase “common courtesy”, but it seems not to be so common these days. It should be something you offer to every soul you pass when walking down the street or even through your office corridor. Its apparent loss is the beginning of the end for society as we knew it, I am convinced.

So, to the lady who said “oh, sorry!” when it was no-one’s fault… no problem. To the other lady who looked down her nose when we crossed paths and simply continued walking… BITCH!

First impressions count. Also, look for an impression on your arm next time. I’ve developed quite the technique of locking my arm muscles and bracing for an impact I will be expecting.